


Lasting Impression

by Jaye_Voy



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-05-07 04:56:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5444084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaye_Voy/pseuds/Jaye_Voy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chakotay and Tom reach an understanding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lasting Impression

**Author's Note:**

> An unanticipated sequel to Vyola's "Second Impression," found at http://www.reocities.com/ladyvyola/voyager/SecondImpression.html  
> You should definitely read that story first or you won't have a clue what's going on.
> 
> Written March 2002. This is the first fanfiction that I ever posted. I cleaned up some really cringeworthy sections (for example, changing Chakotay's experience with the Cardassians), but the story---and its flaws---are mostly intact.
> 
> Disclaimer: Star Trek, Voyager and all related characters and concepts are the property of Paramount. No infringement is intended or profit made. This is NC-17 for m/m sex.

PART 1

Tom sighed and looked down at his half-full plate, then grimly shoveled in another mouthful. Neelix had already prepared a tray for him, so the pilot sat down to eat before Harry and B'Elanna even had a chance to pick up their utensils. 

He needed all his strength to face the bridge now that he'd decided to have his "conversation" with the Commander. He sighed again. He still didn't have a clue about how to even begin the promised discussion, much less get Chakotay to understand how he really felt. Tom couldn't shake the certainty that what happened next would determine his fate: living---or, he shuddered, if things went badly---just surviving for the rest of his life.

"You look like you're fortifying yourself for quite an ordeal. With Neelix's cooking, no less."

Tom looked up to see Commander Chakotay standing at his table, and looked past the broad shoulders to see B'Elanna and Harry absorbed in a conversation with Neelix and Kes. Pointedly *not* looking at them.

"Commander----"

"Just a moment, Lieutenant." Chakotay took a deep breath, then his full lips quirked as he gave the seated man a wry smile. "My great-grandmother used to say that the only true remedy for public stupidity is a public apology." 

His gaze encompassed their quiet corner of the half-filled room. "While she believed that meant the entire village, I think this is about as much of an audience as I can handle. May I?" He gestured to the seat across from the blond.

Tom simply swallowed and nodded, not trusting his voice. He hadn't really been one on one with Chakotay since the night in the lounge, and now he couldn't seem to take his eyes off the older man. As always, there was an almost palpable aura about Chakotay, a warmth and vitality that drew the eye and made everything else around him dull and pale in comparison. The quick smile that brought out the too-rarely-seen dimples in the bronze cheeks also didn't help Tom's composure any.

Chakotay settled himself and folded his hands, staring at them a moment before looking up again at Tom Paris. He had been studiously avoiding those blue eyes since their passionate encounter, but now he looked straight into the sapphire depths, recognizing anew the hummingbird's bright raiment in the gold-dusted hair and red uniform. He noted the bland mask automatically sliding into place on the face across from him, but now he could also see the wariness in Tom's expression, the tightness in the soft mouth and the shoulders tensed for a verbal blow. 

A mental sigh and shake of Chakotay's head accompanied the realization of just how much damage his thoughtlessness had caused. "I'm sorry about what I said the other night in Sandrine's, Tom. My accusations were unfair and untrue. You are a fine officer and a loyal friend. I twisted the confidences you shared with me into lies and in doing so, betrayed a trust."

Chakotay's eyes remained steady while his voice, soft and sincere, dropped even lower. "They say first impressions are hard to shake. I'm sorry that in my anger, I forgot who you really are and again reacted to the uncaring brat I mistook you for all those years ago. Please, forgive me."

Shock left Tom speechless. He'd been too caught up in their private dealings to even bother with the sting caused by Chakotay's accusations during their public scene. Then he recalled his own words to Harry and knew that Chakotay's sense of honor would not allow him to just sweep the matter under the rug, despite what had followed. 

How should he respond? The air between them almost crackled with intensity.  
Despite the fact that no one could hear them, every person in the Mess Hall seemed to be poised, waiting for his reaction. Tom wasn't quite able to read the expression in the dark eyes across from him, but he couldn't bring himself to deliver his typical Flyboy shrug and smart remark.

After a long moment, Chakotay broke the connection by shifting and grinning with remembered laughter. "My great-grandmother used to let us know we were forgiven by saying 'All right then' and smacking us on the back of the head. I hope you'll be a little less vigorous in your response."

Tom blinked again and had a sudden vision of fitting the tip of his tongue into each of those adorable dimples. Flushing with equal parts desire and embarrassment, he cleared his throat and hastily dropped his eyes back to his rapidly cooling meal. "All right then," he said softly.

Chakotay relaxed slightly. First hurdle cleared. "Thank you. Hopefully, the crew will find something to divert their attention in the next few days."

He gave Tom a rueful look. "I don't know how you can be so comfortable in the spotlight. I have to admit I don't like being considered a source of entertainment." Chakotay moved to stand.

Tom felt a sudden surge of panic at the thought that things would just go back to the way they had been. He desperately gripped Chakotay's wrist to stop him from leaving. "Chakotay, I---"

Chakotay's eyes were drawn to the way the black uniform sleeve framed Tom's long, elegant hand, the hand that...Chakotay hastily looked up and felt himself captured by the vulnerability in the naked gaze below his. He was stepping off a cliff into the unknown. "You said I should let you know when I wished to discuss...more private matters." 

Chakotay looked down again, suddenly shy. "I have a holodeck reserved for Friday at 2000. Perhaps we could talk some more then." He pulled away and left the Mess Hall, managing to nod and smile at the quartet of conspirators before he swiftly made his exit.

/Just breathe, Tommyboy. In, Out. In, Out./ His attention was caught by Harry Kim sliding into the seat the Commander just vacated. "Tom, Tom, what happened? You look like you just got hit with a phaser."

"Chakotay. He apologized. For what he said at Sandrine's. It's so completely unexpected, I think stunned is the right word for it. He---he wants to talk again---privately---in a few days." Tom see-sawed between elation and panic. "That's a good sign, isn't it? What do you think, Harry? What's he going to say? What should I do?"

"Easy, Tom. Just finish your meal, get cleaned up and go to the Bridge. You know, we still have a job to do." Harry had never seen Tom so tense and tried to reassure his friend. "And be yourself---not that wiseass you show to everyone else. If it's meant to happen, it will."

Tom's voice was so quiet Harry barely heard it. "It has to, Harry. I don't know if I can come so close and then lose him."

Harry put on his sternest expression. "Then don't worry about it. But you don't have a lot of time, and you're not leaving here without an empty plate. So eat up." He gestured to the others, who started over to the table. 

With a smile, Harry turned back to his friend. "And don't worry about the gossip, Tom. We'll spread the word that the Commander apologized and you waved the whole thing off. It'll be business as usual in no time."

B'Elanna chimed in. "Right, Tom. We'll think of a way to start them talking about something else." She caught Harry's eye. "Whatever it takes." 

Harry gulped.

***************

The entire crew of the USS Voyager waited with bated breath for the next development in the soap-opera saga of the bridge crew.

After Chakotay's apology to Tom in the Mess Hall, tensions had eased and the bridge regained its relaxed atmosphere. Tom was back to teasing---some would now call it flirting with---the Commander, but for some reason Chakotay wasn't rising to the bait. He simply smiled indulgently or gently bantered back, but seemed to completely ignore the new sexual undertones of the pilot's remarks. It was as if he would let himself be amused by Tom, but not aroused by him. 

As the days passed, the Commander had reclaimed his reputation as a warm and caring officer to the crew at large, but Tom was beside himself with frustration.

"It's driving me crazy, Harry. It's as if that night never happened. He's acting like a friend---a really witty and wonderful one---but that's not enough. I'm ready to throw myself at him again, but this time I think he would just grin and applaud."  
As if to demonstrate, Tom's long, lanky form aggressively sprawled full length on the Observation Lounge couch. Harry wisely chose to perch on a chair nearby.

"Well, Tom, maybe he's waiting until you're in private. After all, he only apologized a few days ago. The crew is still panting for more excitement, and they think you two will provide it. The Commander probably won't make a move until he knows he won't have an audience."

"But what can we do about that?” Tom’s head sank onto the cushion. “I don't think I can wait months for all this to die down."

A squelching sound accompanied Harry’s nervous shift. "B'Elanna and I did come up with a kind of plan---we just didn't want to use it unless we were desperate. You certainly sound like you are."

Tom's mouth quirked with skepticism. "What is it, Harry? What could throw everyone off the scent? It's got to be pretty spectacular."

Harry blushed. "We, uh, that is, B'Elanna and I---we thought we'd pretend to start dating. That's got to be at least as interesting as you and Chakotay."

Tom's eyes opened wide as he gave a long whistle. "Wow, that's a pretty powerful combination, Harry. You and B'Elanna and romance and sex." He shook his head in wonder. "That certainly would do the trick." 

Blue eyes sought out brown. "You sure you want to do this?"

Harry shrugged. "Sure. B'El and I talked it over, and it shouldn't be too hard. We'll start tomorrow, so on Friday while you're having your talk with the Commander, everyone will be watching us in Sandrine's for Act Two of our story."

Tom sat up and clapped a hand to Harry's shoulder. "Thanks, to both of you. It's a lot to ask, and if it were anything else---"

"You wouldn't accept it. I know, Tom, love makes you dare anything." He looked at his friend. "Just don't blow it this time, huh?"

Tom simply nodded.

************************************************************  
************************************************************

PART 2

Sigh. /The best-laid plans.../ Tom thought as he settled into a chair, folded his arms on the biobed and rested his chin on them. He stared at Chakotay's sleeping form, watching the rise and fall of breath and scrutinizing what he could see of the regenerated bronze flesh. 

He laid a gentle hand against a muscled shoulder, noting the contrast of his pale fingers against the Commander's warmer coloring. He gently stroked Chakotay's skin, remembering the blood and burns of just a few short hours ago.

Everything had been going so well. Harry and B'Elanna had started actively flirting in the Mess Hall and Sandrine's, and the crew quickly shifted their attention to this new Starfleet-Maquis pairing. Chakotay continued to be warm and friendly, even if he still wasn't displaying any of the smoldering sensuality that fueled Tom's memories and dreams.

Then the accident happened. Some odd plasma-flow readings in one of the conduits prompted the Captain to test her officers' newfound camaraderie by assigning the Chakotay and him to "brush up on their engineering skills" by investigating. The two had just crawled out of a Jeffries tube to more closely examine the tricorder and diagnostic readings when an odd whooshing sound started echoing in the accessway behind Tom. In a flash Chakotay had grabbed Tom's waist and swung him around to safety. 

Unfortunately, before the Commander himself could move completely into the clear, the panel behind them exploded, the blast sending debris crashing into Chakotay's side while flames licked at edges of his uniform.

Engineering shut down the overload as soon as the alarms sounded. Tom yelled for a medical transport, frantically beating at the smoking patches on the unconscious man's clothing. This time, Tom had escaped without a scratch. 

Several anxious hours and the healing of three cracked ribs and some second-degree burns later, Chakotay was as good as new, simply kept overnight for sedative-enhanced sleep and observation. Tom wondered what Chakotay would say if he knew Tom planned to keep vigil over him until morning---if Tom could just outmaneuver the doctor. 

"How is he?"

A light touch on his own shoulder jerked Tom's hand from Chakotay's body. He turned to see a concerned Captain.

"The Doc said he can be released in the morning and will be cleared for full duty four days after that."

Janeway assessed the pilot's demeanor and decided to lighten the atmosphere a little. She gave her trademark lopsided grin. "You know, he saves your life one more time and you'll be even."

Tom met her eyes, and she was surprised by the seriousness of his expression. "We're even now, Captain." He turned back to the bed and lightly touched the dark hair. "To be honest, he saved my life before we ever got to the Delta Quadrant," he admitted softly.

"How?" Janeway settled a hip against the edge of the bed.

"When we met, I was everything Chakotay had always thought I was: a drunk, washed-out excuse for a Starfleet fuck-up." Tom's voice was matter-of-fact. "If he hadn't come to me with the offer to fly, I would probably have started selling myself for money for alcohol, and drugs weren't too far behind."

He turned to meet the Captain's concerned gaze. "Chakotay was everything I wasn't: honorable, dedicated, caring. Even in all the hell the Maquis dealt with every day---the refugees, the prison camps, the danger and deprivation---he still cared. About his crew, about the strangers he helped. And---though he'd never admit it---he cared about me. He gave me time to dry out, food, safety, money to pay my debts, a place to belong again. And he took a chance on me. He trusted me to fly for him." 

His eyes dropped. "Nobody had done that for a long time."

After a moment, Tom sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I realized that I wanted to be worthy of that trust. I saw that even though his homeworld and his life were destroyed, Chakotay didn't turn into a self-pitying drunk. He took a stand and made a difference. I wanted to do that too." 

He looked again at the still figure on the bed. "It just took longer than I expected to make him see that."

"He sees it now, Tom," Janeway said, again resting her hand on his shoulder. "And maybe he'll come to see how much you love him, and how he loves you."

Tom nodded. "I hope so, Captain, I truly hope so."

************************************************************  
************************************************************

B’Elanna barely waited until Harry sat down. "So what's the verdict?"

"It's working like a charm. People are so anxious to see if we can get together, they're completely ignoring Tom and Chakotay. I didn't think it would take this long, though." Harry tried to keep the glee out of his voice as he looked across the desk at his co-conspirator. 

He wasn't ready to admit that now that he and B'Elanna had started "dating," he didn't want the charade to end. In fact, he wanted much more.

"Well, Starfleet, we've got to keep the crowd interested. Maybe we should 'up the ante,' as Tom says." B'Elanna hoped she didn't sound too eager.

Harry’s head tilted. "What do you mean?" 

"Chakotay has reserved a holodeck on Sunday---and he doesn't know *I've* added a few extra hours to his time so he won't be disturbed. We have to do something to make people so interested in us they don't get wind of his plans. I thought, if you want to, we could get caught necking in Sandrine's or something."

Harry straightened. "Kissing? Are you sure you want to go that far, Maquis?"

The answer came with a shrug. "Sure, it's for a good cause."

"True," he agreed, "But we need to practice first. We have to seem like we're really together."

B'Elanna's cheeks warmed. "OK. When do you want to start?"

"The sooner the better." Harry stood and walked over to his fellow conspirator, who rose to meet him. He carefully laid his hands on either side of B'Elanna's face and gently stroked her ridges with his fingertips. He closed his eyes as his lips met the soft warmth of B'Elanna's. 

As two mouths opened to deepen the kiss, two hearts recognized their mates and two minds held one thought: /Yes./

***************

Kes lightly draped her arms around Neelix's neck and looked over his shoulder as he sat before the terminal in their quarters. "Can you really make sure the Commander doesn't know we switched our holodeck time to him?"

Neelix patted the hands resting on his chest. "Of course, sweeting. I'll reserve a slot in my name, and just instruct the computer *not* to activate the usual "end of session" warnings. Then we just don't show up to interrupt our two lovebirds." 

He turned the console off with a beep and leaned back to look into his beloved's beautiful face. He began stroking her arms lightly. "I'm sure we can think of somewhere else to go to pass the time."

Kes's expression turned dreamy. "I've been thinking about the Airponics Bay. The roses are in bloom..." Her voice trailed off as she bent to steal a kiss.

***************

If anyone had glimpsed Kathryn Janeway's face at this moment they would have been convinced she possessed more feline qualities than just the first syllable of her name. She was almost purring as she deftly typed with one hand and lazily swirled her coffee with the other. 

She quickly approved the command to add some extra time to Chakotay's holodeck reservation---without him knowing, of course. There were advantages to having a security code that could be overridden only by someone of higher rank. And fortunately, there wasn't an Admiral in sight.

***************

Tuvok was *not* pleased. Self-satisfaction was an emotion, after all. Still, he couldn't deny a sense of accomplishment at utilizing his stealth skills to ensure no calls reached the holodeck on Sunday. The Commander and Lieutenant would not be disturbed until they had resolved their distracting emotional entanglement. Restored, and perhaps improved, bridge efficiency would be a logical result.

************************************************************  
************************************************************

PART 3

Promptly at 1900 hours on Sunday, Tom shuffled his feet on the carpet before the doors to Holodeck One. He nervously smoothed the cream silk shirt over his black jeans, then ran a hand through his hair. /Now or never/ he thought as he rang the chime, spoke his name and the doors opened for him.

He stepped into a living cavern created by some densely packed elms, ferns and bushes. Several large plants seemed to screen an exit, and the thick foliage overhead muted the light to a soft green glow. Tom gently moved aside the fronds, and stepped into full sunlight. He gasped at the view before him.

A forest clearing surrounded him. His senses were tantalized by the earthy scents, the soft kiss of the breeze, and the chatter of a nearby stream.

A walk through the trees let him feel the texture of the bark and watch the sunlight dance between the leaves and along the banks of flowers that were scattered among the grasses. A feeling of peace, of rightness, pervaded the glen. 

His reverie shattered at a sudden buzzing in his ear. He jumped and turned to see a hummingbird dart past him, then return to hover a moment in front of him before flying off.

"I see you've met your counterpart." The velvet voice caused Tom to whirl again, this time to see Chakotay step around a tree into a patch of sunlight. Tom caught his breath at the sight: Chakotay was barefoot and bare-chested, dressed only in loose-fitting trousers and a pair of woven armbands. 

The play of light along the smooth skin caused Tom's mouth to go dry with longing. He looked into unreadable dark eyes. "My counterpart?"

"Please have a seat, Tom, and I'll explain." Chakotay settled onto the grassy bank and patted the spot beside him. 

Tom stopped to remove his shoes and socks, then dangled his toes into the cool clear water. "Chakotay, this place is beautiful. Where is it? Dorvan V?"

"Not exactly, Tom." Chakotay turned to meet the puzzled blue eyes, "This place, and what I'm about to tell you...they're very private things. I wouldn't be sharing them with you if I didn't know I could trust you to keep my secrets."

Tom's eyes prickled. "Thank you, Cha." He didn't even notice the shortening of the name. "That means more to me than you could imagine."

Chakotay drank in the sight of the beautiful face before him. With a brief, uncertain smile, he broke the intense moment with a gesture at the woodland scene. "This place doesn't really exist on Dorvan V, or anywhere else. It's...me, in a way. My inner self. It's where I meet my spirit guide." 

As Tom's wide-eyed gaze again took in the beauty surrounding the men, Chakotay hastened to add, "It didn't always look like this. When I was in the Maquis it was a pretty barren place. What you see, that only developed after we ended up in the Delta Quadrant."

Tom's brow crinkled. "I'm glad you shared this, Cha, but I don't understand what this---and that bird---have to do with me."

"I wasn't aware of the connection myself until recently. The bird---it's been here since we started our journey home. I thought it represented Voyager: fragile, beautiful, vulnerable, but also spirited, tough and determined." Chakotay paused and looked at the water, suddenly shy. "That night in the observation lounge, I almost understood---when the sun lighted your frame---but then I got...distracted."

He took a quick breath and plunged on, "The next time I meditated, this wilderness was a snowbound wasteland. I thought the bird was dead, but it was still hanging on. As I tried to revive it, I realized...it was you." 

Chakotay glanced toward Tom. "The color you often wear, your blond hair, your blue eyes---it is you." Chakotay shifted, "Apparently, you've been part of me for a long time, but I didn't see it."

Tom leaned in, capturing the dark gaze. "Why not, Chakotay? Why couldn't you see me?"

Chakotay lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "I'm not sure. I've been thinking about it these last few days, even sat in here today for a while, trying to figure everything out." 

He paused. "I---I'd never really considered men as romantic possibilities. I entered the academy at 16. Before that, I had the usual adventures with girls from the village. As a cadet and an officer I had a few long-term relationships. I was with a 'Fleet security officer for three years; we broke up when I left to join the Maquis. And later there was Seska, for a little while." 

Chakotay looked at Tom. "When I met you, I felt...something...and I think it shocked me. I lashed out at you in self-defense. But while I didn't understand *why* I reacted to you the way I did, it never once occurred to me that you were a potential lover."

Shock pushed Tom's questions out in a rush of breath. "So the other night---you were a virgin? I was your first man?" 

Chakotay swallowed. "Not completely," he whispered, his eyes shifting down to his hands.

"Oh shit, what happened, Cardassians?" When Chakotay just kept silent, eyes lowered, Tom reached over to lift the man's chin and look deep into the ebony eyes. "Please, Cha, tell me." He dropped his hand and waited, hardly daring to breathe.

"It's not as bad as it could have been---believe me." Chakotay straightened and stared at the water." It was just after you left for your mission. Seska and I were returning from a supply run when we were captured---ambushed---by a Cardassian battle cruiser. We were separated for questioning. I...the Gul who was in charge let me know that there he had plenty of men ready to 'teach the Maquis a lesson'. And he was very explicit in the details."

Chakotay shook his head like he was shaking off the tension of those days. "After three days of build-up, they had just started 'preparations' when Seska burst in and took them out. She said she'd been able to knock out the ship's doctor while she was undergoing 'repairs'. Made it sound like they did to her what they'd only threatened me with." 

A bitter laugh choked in his throat. "She probably spent the entire time being wined and dined, and convinced the Gul it would be more useful to let us go back to our group. Maybe she wanted them to actually---"  
Chakotay fell silent.

"And then I jump you in the observation lounge. I'm so sorry, Cha---" Tom made to move away, but was stopped by a hand on his thigh. He turned back to meet Chakotay's eyes, which were surprisingly clear and warm.

"No, Tom, don't regret what happened. I don't." Chakotay seemed to shake off his melancholy and smiled. "You had me completely bowled over. By the time I realized what we were heading for that night, I was enjoying it too much to freeze up. You were nothing like what I feared." 

He shrugged. "I should thank you. You helped me gain back part of myself. Because of you, I know how good things can be."

Tom lifted his hand to stroke Chakotay's cheek. "It meant a lot to me too."

A few moments later, Chakotay leaned back and finished his tale. "We never told anyone what happened. That's how Seska and I got together, actually. Me comforting her after the hell she'd been through." 

He turned to meet Tom's eyes. "It was Seska who pointed out the coincidence: you left, we fell into a trap. She kept bringing that up, even after we heard you were captured." 

Tom felt warm fingers claim his as Chakotay continued, "I'm sorry I couldn't let those false beliefs go. When we met again, I guess whatever attraction I felt I channeled into anger at the traitor I thought you were."

A moment of quiet fell between them as Tom absorbed all he'd been told. "So what happens now, Cha?"

Chakotay dropped Tom's hand and shifted away, suddenly uncomfortable. "I don't know. You're a good man, I see that now. I know I want to be your friend, if you'll let me."

On the one hand, Tom wanted this man's respect and friendship, but on the other, he wanted Chakotay's mind, heart, soul, delectable hard body---the way he had lost himself to the Maquis captain a long time ago. "That's not enough, Chakotay. Not for me."

Chakotay too was feeling the pressure; the words seemed wrenched from him. "I have feelings for you, but I'm afraid I'll end up hurting you." 

He started to move away, agitated. "I don't think this should go any farther. I don't think I'm the right person for you."

Tom's head rocked. Chakotay finally admitted his attraction---why was he holding back? Tom caught Chakotay's wrist, breath hitching, heart hammering. "Why not?"

Chakotay gently pried Tom's fingers loose. He knelt and put his own hands on the silk-clad shoulders and turned the blond to watch the beautiful bird. "Look at how free the hummingbird is, Tom. He flits from flower to flower, always moving, seeking. He never stops at just one. He can't; that's not in his nature. That energy is part of you, Tom. Maybe right now you're not meant to be tied to any one person."

Chakotay dropped his hands. Tom could see both tenderness and uncertainty in his serious gaze as Chakotay admitted, "I'm afraid I would cage you somehow, smother you with my demands." 

The light reflected on Chakotay's hair as he shook his head. "At least, that's the message *I* see---that I'm supposed to set you free. But I know my first impressions are often wrong, when it comes to you." 

Chakotay must have been struck by some thought as he suddenly jumped up and moved back, blushing. "I'm sorry. I spring all this on you without any warning. You said you wanted me, I should have stopped with that and not assumed---"

"That I love you?" Tom had stood up as well and now backed Chakotay into one of the broad trunks. He again grabbed Chakotay's chin. 

Their gazes held for a dozen heartbeats, then Tom spoke. "When I first saw you I wanted you in my bed. When I sobered up I found you constantly on my mind. When I lost you, I still felt you in my heart. When I met you again, I realized I need you in my life. When I touched you, I knew you were part of my soul."

Tom stepped into the cradle of Chakotay's braced legs and clutched the muscled biceps. "The hummingbird *is* faithful, Cha. No matter how far it roams, there is one place it always returns. Where it feels safe and cherished, where it chooses to be. Its home." Tom's voice was fierce. "You're my home, Chakotay."

Chakotay had a sudden flashback to the cave, a few short weeks ago. Of Tom's face, defiant and determined and afraid to hope as he fought for Chakotay's life. How shocked he had been at his own response to Tom's wild cries. 

Now Chakotay understood; Tom had only claimed what was his. There was nothing to fear. Tom loved Chakotay too much to ever let him come to harm. He looked into the blazing blue eyes of the man he loved and lifted one broad hand to cup a flushed cheek. "Yours..." he whispered.

Tom desperately searched the face below his. "Mine?" Now he was the one full of uncertainty. His deepest secret dreams seemed about to come true, but he was too afraid to trust it.

Chakotay winced to hear the question in Tom's voice. He made a promise to himself to spend the rest of his life convincing Tom that he was---what was it?---safe and cherished, and of course, deeply, deeply loved. 

With a grin Chakotay contemplated the most pleasant duty he could ever imagine, then sobered as he decided the next step to take.

Tom drew a shaky breath as he saw the smile fade from Chakotay's face as Chakotay pushed him back a step. 

With room to move, Chakotay loosened the band on his right arm and slid it off.

Chakotay rubbed his thumb against the material a moment before he answered Tom's questioning gaze. "Thomas Eugene Paris," Chakotay began, his voice as solemn as the vow he was about to make. "I, Chakotay of Dorvan V, do promise you my love for all my life. I welcome you into my family and my tribe. I claim you as my husband and helpmeet, and offer you myself to be the same. I ask you to build a home with me, and walk beside me all my days." 

He took a deep breath. "I love you, Tom." He offered the armband to the silent figure before him.

Tom couldn't believe his ears, or his eyes. Chakotay had just *proposed* to him. Proposed to *him*. Even in his fantasies he never dared hope for so much. Now all Tom had to do was accept. His fingers twitched, yearning for the scrap of fabric, and he clenched his fists and his eyes shut as his mind raced.

/Isn't this too fast? Does Chakotay really love me, or is this just some twisted guilt response to all we've been through? Is it real?/ He opened up his eyes and looked at the beautiful man in front of him. The man who was freely offering his life, his heart, his love. Who had already proven his trust, more profoundly than Tom had even guessed.

OK, so the offer was sincere. Should he accept it? Chakotay was everything Tom had ever wanted, but could Tom be everything that Chakotay needed? Tom stared into dark eyes shimmering with hope and fear, and thought /Yes. Love will be more than enough./ They would both make sure of it.

Tom nervously cleared his throat and reverently joined his hand to Chakotay's, closing the band within their clasp. His stance was proud and voice sure as he made his own vow. "I, Thomas Eugene Paris, do solemnly take you, Chakotay of Dorvan V, to be my husband. To have and to hold, to honor and cherish, in good times and in bad, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, until death do us part." 

He swiftly slipped off his shirt and secured the band on his left bicep. Tom looked at his husband. "I love you, Chakotay."

***************

/Who would have thought the taste of blood could be so arousing,/ Harry wondered as he delivered a delicate bite to B'Elanna's lower lip. A glancing mark from her teeth made the corner of his mouth throb just a little with every heartbeat. "Wow," he breathed as he drew back and licked his lips. 

B'Elanna struggled with her own composure as she hastily sipped her beer. From its tepid temperature, they must have lost track of time while they were kissing. Very pleased with her chosen mate's responses so far, B'Elanna grinned and grabbed Harry's hand. "C'mon, let's dance, Starfleet." 

Harry groaned but gamely followed his feisty partner to the floor. He saw all the interested glances, and shook his head as he mused, "The things we do for love..."

***************

Neelix lightly stroked a pink rose against Kes's cheek, startling his lover. 

"Neelix," she smiled. "Is it that late already?"

"No, my dear." Neelix plopped down onto the bench by the vines Kes was tending. "I just missed you, and wondered if you needed any help."

"Well," she raised a delicate eyebrow, "you can start with a privacy lock...."

***************

Kathryn Janeway was keeping her mind very firmly away from the holodeck as she skimmed a novel before bed. It wouldn't do at all for a proper Starfleet Captain to be thinking about the private lives of her crew. The sex lives of her crew. The sex lives of the two most attractive members of her crew.

She sighed and decided to take a cold shower. Or maybe a long hot bath.

***************

The setting sun gilded the two men as they stared at each other for a long moment, their eyes locked in silent communication. They stepped together. 

Tom's arms slid around Chakotay's waist and his hands stroked the bronze back, tracing the pattern the tree bark left on the smooth flesh.

Chakotay laid one hand on Tom's chest, feeling the unfamiliar prickle of hair against his palm, and slid the other into the soft blond waves at Tom's nape. 

Their breaths mingled as their lips approached and hovered, anticipating, then met. The tender kiss heated when Tom parted his lips. He moaned as Chakotay dove into the offered sweetness with an approving growl. His tongue delicately stroked Tom's palate and gums, then lured its mate forward. As Tom's tongue forayed into Chakotay's mouth, he sucked on the welcome invader.

They parted, chests brushing as they breathed. Tom moved his hands to Chakotay's face, "I want you to make love to me, Chakotay." He watched brown eyes widen apprehensively.

"Are you sure, Tom? You know I've never done this before." Chakotay's teeth worried his lower lip, drawing an intense blue gaze to his mouth.

Tom smiled, charmed by the Commander's uncharacteristic hesitation. He reached into a pocket of his jeans and pulled out a tube of lubricant. He firmly pressed it into Chakotay's hand. "Yes, very sure."

Chakotay stared shocked at the object, then back up at his newly minted mate. "You planned for this?"

"No, Cha, honest," Tom reassured. "I *hoped* for this. For anything, really. I've been carrying that around since our night in the lounge." 

He gave a sudden mischievous grin. "Harry convinced me not to jump you again until you were ready, but I wasn't sure I could resist the temptation. So I figured I'd better be prepared."

The sight of the cocky Flyboy smile paired with open, loving eyes undid Chakotay. With a whisper of "So beautiful," he reclaimed that laughing mouth, which enthusiastically joined in a second round of kissing.

Chakotay dropped the tube as his hands roamed up and down Tom's arms, then moved to his chest and torso, eagerly combing through the golden curls. He broke the kiss with a wide smile of his own. "Have I mentioned how sexy I find this?" 

He tugged just enough to elicit a delighted gasp from Tom. He listened to the rasp of his nails against his lover's chest, casually flicking the dark pink nipples as he passed them.

Tom closed his eyes and clutched at Chakotay's shoulders as he arched into the stroking. Denim met soft cotton in a desperate thrust. "Please, Cha," he moaned.

Chakotay succumbed to the lure of the long exposed neck, kissing and nipping down the pale throat. His mouth descended to the pectorals, using his tongue to surround a stiff nipple and lift it to his waiting teeth. He then kissed the taut flesh, soothing the sting of the bite. Chakotay drifted leisurely to its pink twin to suckle strongly as he felt Tom's hands clench in his hair.

Tom felt the shock of air against his wet chest as Chakotay's mouth moved downward. He was swamped with a surge of relief as his jeans were suddenly opened to free his trapped cock. Large warm hands briefly palmed his ass as the pants were slowly drawn down and away. 

He opened his eyes and looked down to see Chakotay kneeling before him, eyeing his cock with a speculative expression. "Chakotay? Are you all right?"

/I can do this./ Chakotay removed his gaze from the purple-crested member saluting him to meet worried blue eyes. He lifted his hands to encircle the lean muscled thighs in front of him, his palms and fingers again tingling as they traveled over the tiny hairs adorning them. 

"I'm just enjoying the view, Tom." He smiled in reassurance. "I'm fine. As I said, you're nothing like what I feared."

Tom breathed a sigh of relief and ran his own fingers through soft raven locks, "OK."

Chakotay swallowed and returned to his contemplation of Tom's very erect cock, which had started to drip in anticipation. He leaned in and let his tongue run from the base slowly to the tip, sampling the silken texture and salt-musk flavor. 

He inhaled Tom's scent and ran his lips slowly along the path his tongue had taken. Then with a quick smile at Tom's passion-dazed expression, he opened his mouth and completely swallowed Tom's cock.

Tom gave a sharp yelp of surprise as he felt himself being completely encased in a warm, wet cavern. His hands descended to Chakotay's shoulders as he tried to pull back in shock. Stronger hands held his hips to keep him in place. Tom started to shake with a desperate need to thrust.

Chakotay was simply enjoying the moment. His knowledge of relaxation techniques was paying off in unexpected ways. He felt Tom's pulse through the vein resting against his tongue, sending a message of arousal in its primal drumbeat. He felt the trembling of the hips beneath his hands, and eased his hold to slowly start backing off, licking and sucking until he reached the crown. He knew Tom was on the edge.

Tom felt that wicked mouth descend on him again and groaned. But it seemed the torture was over, as Chakotay began moving his head swiftly along Tom's length, sucking at him as if to pull the orgasm from his flesh. 

The hands on his hips encouraged his movement as he made short thrusts into those sculpted lips, letting Chakotay decide how deep to go. He tried to make a sound of warning, but his indrawn breath rushed out in a long moan as he came.

/Hmmm...salty, bittersweet...doesn't remind me of anything---except Tom./ Chakotay thought as hot cum flooded his mouth. He swallowed to make more room and heard Tom's voice falter as his cock was lightly squeezed in the process. Chakotay sucked the last of his husband's juices, licked him clean and let the spent organ fall from his lips.

He looked up, and raised his eyebrows, needing to know but finding it too awkward to ask, "Was it good for you?"

Tom plopped onto the ground. He fell in love again as he read the uncertain expression on the face of the man who had just given him the blowjob of his life. He could hear the awe in his own voice. "Damn."

Chakotay gave a relieved laugh. "I never quite pictured that reaction."

"Well, you made quite a picture while causing it." Tom tackled Chakotay and reached for the drawstring on the loose slacks still covering him. He carefully eased the cloth over the straining erection, freeing the dark cock to the evening air. "Yesss..." he hissed and closed his fingers around it.

As he slowly stroked, Tom leaned up to lightly bite along Chakotay's jaw to a spot just behind one ear. Then he began sucking a trail down the satiny bronze skin, lazily swiping his tongue in the valley that bisected Chakotay's well-muscled chest. 

He ran his teeth over the ridged abdomen, heading for the only patch of hair on his husband's strong frame. He halted his southern journey when Chakotay's hands tugged at his arms. "Tom...too close," Chakotay gasped.

Tom immediately moved up to share a sizzling kiss, delighted when he felt powerful hands sliding down to cup his ass. Tom sent one hand out in a search for the long-forgotten tube while the other continued to stroke and tease the body beneath him. When he found the lube he lifted himself off his husband and handed it over without a word.

Chakotay followed him up until they were both sitting and took a moment to regain a measure of control. He accepted the tube and looked at the flushing man before him, a portrait of desire. "OK, Tom. But you have to make me a promise. You tell me if you feel any pain. Anything at all."

His eyes were anxious. "I couldn't bear to hurt you."

Tom collapsed onto the grass, spreading his long limbs in welcome. "I promise, Cha, but I know you won't bring me anything but pleasure." He grinned and wiggled his hips. "Now, fuck me, Commander."

Brown eyes took a leisurely stroll up the slender form, watching as the last of the light turned it into a golden work of art. Chakotay uncapped the tube and knelt in the vee of Tom's legs. He coated his cock and made sure he put a large dollop of gel on his fingers, then gently parted the muscular cheeks to probe the shadowy cleft. Tom's gasp told him when to end his search as he slowly eased one finger past tight muscle and deep into the hot channel beyond. He sought Tom's eyes as he began the internal stroking that would ready Tom's body for his husband's possession.

Chakotay was humbled by the trust in the face beneath him. He slid out, moistened two fingers, and returned to the careful stretching. He felt for the small bump that marked Tom's pleasure point. He almost lost the connection when Tom's hips jumped with reaction. /Gotcha!/

Tom settled back down with a needy moan. The slick fingers moving in him were causing sparks to jump up and down his spine and along his nerves. He thrust again, trying to bury them more deeply. "Now, Chakotay, Now! Please."

Chakotay hastily withdrew his hand and lifted Tom's long legs around his waist as he set the head of his cock against the beckoning passage. Brown eyes held blue as he moved into his husband's body. "I love you," he said as he thrust home.

Tom groaned and lifted his hips to match the movement, only stopping when soft hair brushed his ass. He felt the thick cock sliding back, then gently returning to fill him again. At the last moment he tightened his ankles around Chakotay, forcing him even deeper. "Don't you dare hold back," he gasped.

Chakotay nodded and gripped Tom's hips, pulling the long body forward to meet his own thrusts. He'd never felt anything like this: hot, clasping, massaging the length of his cock as he moved in the pale body. He raised up slightly to change his angle and was rewarded by a shout from Tom as his prostate was firmly stroked. 

They were both thrusting quickly now, making wild sounds as they both sought completion.

"Touch me!" Tom growled, and Chakotay reached for the long cock, closing it in his fist. A few quick pulls and his grip was suddenly slick with cum as Tom threw back his head and groaned.

Tom's spasms squeezed Chakotay's cock as he gasped and plunged one last time into the climaxing form beneath him, shooting semen deep within the clenching channel.

Chakotay slid out and collapsed to the side. He gathered Tom in his arms, both men panting as their heartbeats gradually slowed. "Wow," was all Chakotay said as he ran his fingers through Tom's sweat-dampened hair. 

"Yeah," Tom replied as he snuggled into his husband's embrace. The two satiated men slipped into sleep as gently as the twilight faded into night.

************************************************************

CONCLUSION

When Chakotay woke, he was met by a landscape limned in moonlight. He took a moment to lightly touch the band decorating his husband's silvered skin. He was still in awe of the fact that he was in love with, and married to, Tom Paris. It was so strange yet felt so right. He kissed Tom's forehead. So very right. 

Tom felt deliciously warm as he rubbed against the satiny surface beneath his cheek. When his chin grazed a nipple, he was suddenly reminded of the day's events and instinctively clutched at the body he was cuddled up against. The solid form reassured him that he wasn't dreaming---he was a married man. 

He looked up into Chakotay's eyes, darker and more mysterious in the night. "Hi there." 

"Hello yourself, Tom." Chakotay kissed the tip of his husband's nose and ran one hand down the long back to lightly stroke Tom's ass. "You OK?"

Tom stretched and settled himself more completely on the broad chest beneath him. "Better than OK." He touched Chakotay's high cheekbones, then brushed his tattoo. A thought struck him and he grinned as he began tracing the delicate lines. "Do I need to get one of these?"

Chakotay's eyes rolled up to watch the elegant hand. "You want one?"

Tom pursed his lips. "I don't know. I mean, no one's going to know the armbands are underneath our uniforms. If we cut off all our sleeves, everyone will see them but..." 

He moved his hands to lightly scrape his nails down the length of Chakotay's arms. Felt Chakotay's shiver in response. "...They may also forget what they mean in the surge of lust at seeing a less-than-fully clothed Commander." 

Tom gently soothed the fading tracks with his fingertips. "I'm not sure I want to risk it."

Chakotay chuckled and trapped the wandering hands in his own. His thumbs brushed Tom's knuckles and his dimples flashed patches of shadow as he smiled. "I think I'm the one who should worry. I'm tempted to say yes to the tattoo, just so everyone knows you're mine." 

His look turned serious as he slowly stroked the fourth finger of Tom's left hand. Sought and held Tom's moon-flecked eyes. "It isn't necessary. I'd be proud to wear your ring, Tom. And have you wear mine. Whatever you need to be sure this is real. That we're real."

Tom bestowed a gentle kiss, then rested his chin on their linked hands. "Thank you," he said softly. 

Then he grinned. "We have to make things Starfleet official anyway so I won't get tossed in the brig for insubordination for jumping my CO in the Mess Hall..." 

Tom began languidly rubbing against his husband's powerful body as he ruminated "...The Observation lounges, the shuttle bay, the conference room, the turbolifts, the cargo bays, Engineering, Stellar Cartography, Sickbay, Airponics, the Jeffries tubes---all of them---your office, the Ready Room---" 

Tom gave a startled grunt as he found himself once again lying beneath Chakotay.

"Given this a little thought, have you? *Not* the Ready Room," Chakotay stated. "I don't think that would be fair to Kathryn."

Tom conceded with a smile. "We certainly don't want her to perform the marriage, then annul it in a fit of pique."

Chakotay’s own grin widened. "Or throw us both in the brig---without conjugal visits."

Tom shuddered. "Right. Definitely *not* the Ready Room." He parted his legs to bring their bodies into alignment and grabbed his husband's oh-so-clutchable ass. "Now that that's settled, what shall we do to pass the time, hmmm...?"

Suddenly he was abandoned as Chakotay sat up and looked at the night sky.

"We should never have been able to sleep for so long, Tom. The alarm was supposed to go off hours ago. Computer, what time is it?"

"The time is 0200 hours."

Tom whistled. "Wow, you must have been saving your rations, Cha. That's quite a block of time."

Chakotay looked just as shocked. "I only had 2 hours. In fact, I'm surprised we weren't interrupted while we were, um, earlier." He had a sudden suspicion. "Computer, when is the holodeck alarm set to go off?"

"Commander Chakotay's reservation expires at 0700 hours. Communications lockout engaged until that time."

The two men shared a stunned glance, then Tom started laughing. "That long? Somebody must have overestimated our stamina just a bit. I know Harry had a hand in this, and the Captain was definitely in the loop, but where did all the rest of the time come from?"

Chakotay sighed. "I know the computer didn't show any modifications, so I bet a certain half-Klingon engineer is involved. And Kes and Neelix have been very sympathetic." 

He shook his head. "Computer, where are our messages being directed?"

"All communications to Commander Chakotay and Lieutenant Paris are being directed to Lieutenant Tuvok."

Tom whistled. "Wow, even Tuvok's involved? We're lucky we're staying together, Cha. I know I'm no match for that task force."

Chakotay pulled Tom up by the elbows until they were face-to-face once more. "You're not alone anymore, and I think together we can stand up to anything." 

He felt around for the abandoned lubricant as he lay back in the grass, arranging Tom on top of his own excited form. "And since you seem to have already forgotten that, *husband*, we'd better have that Starfleet ceremony at 0800."

Tom undulated his hips, pressing his groin into his mate's. "Which brings us back to my original question: What do we do until then...?"

Chakotay's reply was a playful growl. "You start demonstrating what a good 'provider' you'll be." One hand smoothed clear gel over his husband's wakening cock while the other squirted more lubricant over the long pale fingers. "Right now..." 

As Tom's hands began to explore, Chakotay's voice trailed off into an aroused moan as he spread his legs wider and relaxed into his beloved's intimate touch.

As Tom sank slowly into his husband's welcoming body, he fervently whispered back, "Oh, yes, Sir..."

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are welcomed with great joy and constructive criticism is treasured as a rare gift.


End file.
